This is the newest journal that I've added to my collection - through a 17 year span of keeping my dreams. My last journal has had a long run, of 10 years. I figured it was time to put the past behind me. Subconsciously, I feel as though 2004 until 2014 were the hardest years of my life.
It's bittersweet reading what I dreamt about, during that time period. Although, a lot of beautiful paintings were born during my hardships. Which, is where the best pieces come from - emotions that need to be expressed. I admit, I can't read myself or know how to constructively open up. Art and dreams are my outlet. Without either, I would be lost like I was as a child.
In my dreams, I've foreseen events that have happened or will happen in the future. I don't call this supernatural or psychic abilities - this is purely psychological. It's my logical intuition - that has been unknowingly repressed (while awake), which builds up through time. I believe our dreams are incredibly important to remember.
Our brains are muscles that need exercise, to remember and memorize things being awake and asleep. My first dream journal was an "awakening" within my life, being lived now. I say this because, after dreaming for so long I've gained more awareness than my wakened state.
First, I woke with feelings and experienced déjà vu, (like I've herd so many people who do). I wanted to remember more, and started a journal. It was so silly at first. Most pages were covered in abstract details, colors, faces, words, or voices. Nothing added up. The first dream I ever remembered was when I was 13 years old. My grandfather (who raised me as his daughter) came to see me, clear as day. He died young, at only 54 in 1996. My dream happened shortly afterwards.
In the dream, we were standing in my front of my grandparents house where I was raised. I looked at him and he smiled. He pointed to the sky and told me to let go. So, after I hesitated and looked up I knew it was time to leave him. I ran harder than I ever had down our hill, and started to fly away. When I looked back, he waved smiling and slowly disappeared.
That was the beginning of my new dream world. It opened so many stories, people, and most importantly messages that I needed to know. Maybe it's one life altering dream that opens our perspectives? If I could paint every dream that has crossed my mind, then I would have thousands of paintings. Although, I do analyze all of them afterwards - the surreal "unknown" one's weigh out for my next picture. Possibly because I believe constructing what I can't understand will eventually put the pieces together.
No comments:
Post a Comment